butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize