I got chris browned last night
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize