how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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