I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize