I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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