i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
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Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
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When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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