From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
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She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
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No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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