do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize