I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
not ubering you a puppy
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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