Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize