I am in a vortex of obligation.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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