They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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