May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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