What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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