UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize