dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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