just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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