Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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