If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
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There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
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Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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