sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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