Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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