hell yes lets make some ravioli
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize