I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize