I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize