So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize