I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize