U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize