i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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