capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize