my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
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he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
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The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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