Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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