i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize