the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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