I want to make a zoo with you.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
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Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
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I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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