singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
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I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
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When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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