shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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