I CAN MOONWALK!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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