But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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