Well apparently he's into motor boating.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize