i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize