is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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