you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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