I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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