she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize