someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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