my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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