It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
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If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
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Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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