By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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