we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
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do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
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How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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