Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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