Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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